Communities of Friends

The Quaker way of life is one of community: Friends gather together for worship, for service, to support each other spiritually and in other ways, and to reach collective decisions on the issues which arise in community life. For Friends, religion is not just a matter of individual experience, but something we enter into together, acting as a body in our worship, our witness, and our business; holding each other in mutual care, love, and attention.

This is not to discount the experience of those Friends who live at too great a distance from their meetings to participate regularly, nor to deny that each of us must come individually to a sense of what is right and true and essential in spiritual matters. But time and experience have proven the value of a close, responsive community in fostering individual spiritual growth, in testing and tempering individual leadings and individual understanding, and in supporting individuals as they are called to act or to suffer for religious principle. Worship in a gathered community is different in valuable ways from private devotion, and a coordinated group can accomplish far more in service and advocacy than individuals acting alone.

Friends’ testimonies, along with our belief that there is that of God in everyone, encourage a heightened awareness of the need for care in our relationships with one another. Still, Quakers recognize that, despite our testimonies and our highest aspirations, members and attenders of Friends meetings are not exempt from weaknesses. We are all capable of hurting each other, and we are all at risk of being hurt. Some hurtful incidents are easily rectified. Others are not.

Abuse, exploitation, harassment, bullying, and other similar types of misconduct—whether physical, verbal, sexual, or emotional—are contrary to Friends’ testimonies, and in some cases, to the law. Individual Friends bear responsibility in those areas; so too do Quaker meetings. Every meeting and worship group must do whatever it can to provide a safe and loving environment for everyone, as Friends seek to affirm the worth of all children of God.

Friends in Illinois Yearly Meeting engage in “waiting worship,” in which we gather silently to enter into communion with God and with one another and to seek God’s help and guidance in ministering to our own spiritual needs, those of the meeting community, and those of the wider world. Meeting for worship begins when the first worshipper enters the room. As Friends enter the meeting room, they seek to still their minds, leaving behind the concerns and activities of their daily life, and to focus inward and enter a period of expectant waiting. After a substantial period of silence anyone present who feels led to speak by the Divine Spirit may rise and do so. Friends speak spontaneously as led rather than composing a message in advance of coming to meeting for worship. This vocal ministry is typically followed by a period of silence to deepen the worship and allow those present to take in what has been said. When enough time has passed another Friend may feel led to speak. Sometimes the entire meeting may pass in outward silence. The meeting ends with the shaking of hands.

Acknowledged minister: A recorded minister.

Concerning This Book of Faith and Practice

“Dearly beloved Friends…”: Abram R. Barclay, ed.; Letters, &c. of Early Friends; Harvey and Darton, London; 1841; p. 282.

So Friends are not to meet like a company of people about town or parish business, …but to wait upon the Lord, and feeling his power and spirit to lead them…that whatsoever they may do, they may do it to the praise and glory of God, and in unity in the faith, and in the spirit, and in fellowship in the order of the gospel.

George Fox, undated

When Friends gather to do business, the process is the same for committees and meetings of all levels. We gather together to listen for how God would have us move forward. The decisions made during the Quaker meeting for worship with a concern for business are the sense of the meeting of those in attendance. Minuted decisions remain until such time as the body is moved to change them.

While we recognize the need of law and order, which in the present condition of mankind can perhaps only be maintained by governments resting on human authority, we believe that in the degree that we come individually under the government of that principle of justice and unselfish regard for the welfare of others, that lies at the foundation of the Christian faith, we shall render governments sustained by force, unnecessary, and build up through self restraint, the government of Righteousness in the earth.

Illinois Yearly Meeting, 1878

Friends’ relation with civil government proceeds both from our recognition that government plays a useful and beneficial role in promoting the common good, upholding justice, and providing a system for collective decision-making; and from our awareness that government sometimes depends on violence or threats of violence to achieve its goals, and may be diverted from the pursuit of justice into the service of powerful interests. It is our responsibility to participate in the civic life of our communities, states, nations and world. But it is also our responsibility firmly to oppose governmental structures, actions and policies which promote war or injustice of any kind.

The mystery of sex continues to be greater than our capacity to comprehend it… [I]ts mystery relate(s) to the mystery of God’s relationship to us.

Mary S. Calderone, 1973

Quakers consider sexuality to be a gift. Like the gift of spirituality that we have also been given, it is intended to be developed and progressively understood as each of us proceeds through our life’s journey. Considering one without the other may mean that we do not fully grow in our understanding of the role of either in our lives.

Friends regard personal and corporate discernment about sexual behavior, as well as discernment regarding attitudes about matters of sexuality and gender identity, to be a reflection of the testimonies (see “Testimonies”). Sexual relations, like all human relations, should be marked by honesty, integrity, personal responsibility, and mutual respect. We are called to interact lovingly with each other, recognizing that all of us are equally beloved by God. For this reason, Illinois Yearly Meeting and affiliated component meetings and worship groups seek to be welcoming and affirming for all those who attend.