On a chilly afternoon in late\nApril, I hopped into my van with two other Lake Forest Friends to travel to\nMcNabb, Illinois for a weekend retreat open to cisgender women,\nself-identifying women, and gender minorities. We had food and luggage,\nsleeping bags, etc., stashed in the back and we were ready to go. But we had no\nidea what to expect. The topic was Nonviolent Communication. I have some\nexperience with workshops on that subject, but I was eager to learn more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We arrived at the ILYM campus\njust before supper. One of our carpool friends planned to sleep in the cabins,\nso we helped her set up, then headed to the Clear Creek House. The folks who\nhad arrived early had made soup and bread. They set it out before we arrived.\nEvery bit of the food was allergen friendly and\/or labeled. which for me was a\nbig deal. The food was also Jain friendly for our guest speakers. Jains eat a\ndiet geared towards reducing violence on the environment. It is similar to a\nvegetarian diet, but also refuses any food that destroys the plant upon harvest\nor risks harming insect or microorganisms when pulled from the ground. Eggs,\ncheeses, and yogurt are also restricted because they may have living or dead\ncreatures within. Do you know how unusual it is to find Jain-friendly food at\nan event? Amazing! <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Our entire weekend was like that\nin terms of food, hearty, delicious, and perfect for every guest. I was blown\naway by the cooks\u2019 flexibility. Flowing conversation kept us busy during meal\nbreaks. After we ate, we worked together to clean, wash dishes, wipe tables,\nand sweep floors. The sense of harmony and comradery over these tasks grew as\nthe weekend progressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Our first learning session began\nFriday night. Hemlata (Hema) and Mandakini Pokharna, the facil-itators,\nintroduced us to the idea of Nonviolent Communication. We spoke first about\nwhere we had come from and what we hoped to learn. Then Hema and Mandakini\nbegan to speak about the light within us and learning to grasp it and focus on\nit in order to maintain a sense of peace while we are communicating. They spoke\nof the connection of the heart, where the light resides, to our body, our\nactions, our thoughts, and our words. In order to express ourselves with love\nand balance, we must first soak in that light. We found ourselves centering our\nmind and bodies on the light many times over the weekend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That night, we crawled into bed, exhausted, but full of peace. The weekend forecast promised cold, wind, and rain, so everyone slept under a On Saturday, we continued to\nlearn. We began to see the benefit of finding space between what is happening\naround us and our response to that stimulus. Within that space, even if it is\nsmall, we can choose how to respond. We must sometimes take time ask ourselves\nwhat we need. Do we need love? Do we need safety? Do we need physical space?\nHonoring our own needs can help us to stay calm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At one point, the facilitators\nlaid out a series of feeling words for use in problem solving conversations. We\nworked through personal issues using those words, discovering deeper feelings\nwithin ourselves, and recognizing similar deep feelings within others. We are\nbetter able to let go of stories in our head, judgements, anger, and tension\nwhen we recognize shared humanity. As we moved forward, we discovered that\nhonoring the light and emotions within other people opens a path to resolving\nconflict. The atmosphere was loving and supportive. Tears fell. Tissues became\nplentiful. The room became a safe space to share our hearts without judgement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Later that evening, we got\ntogether to sing songs. We shared laughter and discussion. Several of us wore\npajamas to this part of the event, a well-deserved act of self-care. We had\nbeen alerted ahead of time to bring unwanted items for others to take home.\nMany of us found treasure in the resulting \u201cpop-up store.\u201d Sweaters were\nparticularly popular. We were eager to stay warm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On Sunday we came together during breakfast as fast friends. The level of love and excitement was palpable. Once more, we cleaned. This time with vigor. We had to pack our things and clear out the corners we had inhabited. Many of us stayed on to share Meeting for Worship with Clear Creek Friends. Alas, my carpool buddies and I headed home early. We had a speaker to catch at our home meeting. But we were sad to go. We initiated a hug The Women\u2019s Weekend flew by far\ntoo fast. I made wonderful new Friends and left with a heart full of joy. When\nthe next Women and Gender Minority Retreat rolls around, you can bet I will be\nthere. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Lisa Thompson, Lake Forest Friends Meeting On a chilly afternoon in late April, I hopped into my van with two other Lake Forest Friends to travel to McNabb, Illinois for a weekend retreat open to cisgender women, self-identifying women, and gender minorities. We had food and luggage, sleeping bags, etc., stashed in the back and we were ready to go. But we had no idea what to expect. The topic was Nonviolent Communication. I have some experience with workshops on that subject, but I was eager to learn more. We arrived at the ILYM campus just before supper. One of our carpool friends planned to sleep in the cabins, so we helped her set up, then headed to the Clear Creek House. The folks who had arrived early had made soup and bread. They set it out before we arrived. Every bit of the food was allergen friendly and\/or labeled. which for me was a big deal. The food was also Jain friendly for our guest speakers. Jains eat a diet geared towards reducing violence on the environment. It is similar to a vegetarian diet, but also refuses any food that destroys the plant upon harvest or risks harming insect or microorganisms when pulled from the ground. Eggs, cheeses, and yogurt are also restricted because they may have living or dead creatures within. Do you know how unusual it is to find Jain-friendly food at an event? Amazing!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1383,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"series":[16],"class_list":["post-1367","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-among-friends","series-among-friends-summer-2019"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/02_LisaThompson.jpg?fit=350%2C263&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1367","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1367"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1367\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1540,"href":"https:\/\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1367\/revisions\/1540"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1383"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1367"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1367"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1367"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ilym.org\/ilym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=1367"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}